


Broken Dreams and Unearthly Screams

by raging_storm



Category: My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Cults, Demon Summoning, Developing Friendships, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Minor Injuries, Revenge, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, Vandalism, Witchcraft, Wrongful Imprisonment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-16 15:18:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16088765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raging_storm/pseuds/raging_storm
Summary: In which Tyler summons a demon straight out of Josh's mirror, and both of them get a little more than they bargained for.





	1. The Summoning

**Author's Note:**

> months later and im back. many works deleted that I couldn't dredge up the energy to finish. 
> 
> this work, however. will be something special. I can feel it.
> 
> I'll be combining two of my favorite Lead Singers for this mess.
> 
> enjoy!

"So, I read something online," Tyler declares as he approaches Josh, a determined look on his face.  
  
Josh sighs and swivels his chair away from his computer. "What, Tyler? What did you find?" Cue the purposeful patronizing tone, because Josh already knows this conversation will be about one of Tyler's newest myth obsessions. However, he cards his fingers together and raises an eyebrow in a clear "carry on" gesture.  
  
Tyler's face is serious. "Look," he says, handing a piece of paper to Josh, who takes it with a confused expression. Guess his English essay will just have to wait while he indulges in one of Tyler's insane fantasies. His eyes scan the page quickly. He gives a short laugh and all but shoves the paper back into Tyler's hands.  
  
"You're kidding me," he says loudly.  
  
"Nope," says Tyler, popping the P.  
  
"You're a fucking idiot," Josh says eliciting a glare from the librarian behind her desk a couple feet away from the computers. Shooting her an apologetic look, he turns back to Tyler and lowers his voice. "Okay, I thought this was some- some phase or something, but you keep bringing this shit up. Zombies aren't real, vampires aren't real, demons aren't real-"  
  
"Yes, they are," Tyler insists. He brandishes his paper in Josh's face. "And these instructions will tell me exactly how to summon one." He looks extremely pleased with himself.  
  
"Your obsession is kind of unhealthy, Tyler."  
  
"I'm not the one with a gigabyte of porn stashed on his computer somewhere."  
  
Swiveling his chair back to face his monitor, partly because he wants to get back to work and partly because his cheeks are glowing red- he knew he shouldn't have let Tyler use his computer unsupervised that one time- Josh places his hands on the keyboard. "Go away, Tyler. I'll see you after school."

Tyler, however, isn't quitting. He smiles behind Josh. Josh doesn't see. "I'll summon a demon tonight when I'm at your place," he says easily. “Right in the fucking bathroom.”

“No, you won't,”Josh says. Not because he's _scared_ or anything, but because he doesn't want Tyler Joseph making a fool of himself in his bathroom in front of his parents. Doing something like lighting candles and turning out the lights to speak gibberish at the steamed up mirror in order to summon a big bad demon. It's not happening. End of discussion.

Tyler shrugs. Josh narrows his eyes at his screen. He waits until his friend heads back to his own computer before beginning to type his essay again.

*

Tyler meets him outside after school. Paper gone, something other than demons and dragons and what the fuck ever on his mind, he graciously doesn't mention the earlier library incident as they walk home. Instead he talks about a vintage keyboard his parents found at some garage sale and gave him. “Seriously, Josh, thing has to be worth like, five hundred dollars. And my dad got a good deal on it.”

He sounds so enthusiastic about his music and his passion for playing that Josh can almost forget that he's also a weirdo that tries to do sketchy shit in his basement. He tries to pretend that Tyler is normal sometimes.

Music is something Josh enjoys, too, though. He's an avid percussionist in his free time, and so he gladly accepts this topic and partakes in the conversation about Tyler's new keyboard. “You'll have to play for me sometime, man. Show me a new song or something.”

“Sure.”

Josh lives close to the school, so the walk isn't far. They cross the street near the defunct gas station a block from the school and they're at Josh's place.

“I like your house,” Tyler says, probably for the fiftieth time, as Josh fishes his key out of his bag and unlocks his house. He's heard it before, obviously. And while Josh's house is nothing special- it's not even that big- they both know that what Tyler means is it feels like home. It's warm and inviting, and so _comforting._ Josh's parents are almost always home, and kind, and his family feels like a family. Tyler has two siblings in college, his parents are about to split, and his house is dark, cold, and uninviting. It's why Tyler is always at Josh's. He doesn't feel good at his own house.

Josh manages to get the stupid lock open- it always sticks, and gestures to the floor. “Just, uh, put your stuff on the ground,” he says.

Tyler shakes his head. “I'll keep it with me,” he says, hugging his bag to his chest.

Josh nods, more to himself than to Tyler. “Okay. Sure. Let's go downstairs, then.”

Josh resides in the basement. Stereotypes say this isn't cool, it's reclusive and creepy, but Josh doesn't give two shits about meeting social standards. Yes, he lives in his parents’ basement. That doesn't mean he's a loser, it means he's smart. The basement is nice and cool and spacious. In the summer, when it's hot, it means free air conditioning. In the winter, when it's cold, his parents pity him, which means he gets two space heaters. He has room for his TV and shelves galore (stocked with comics), and an extensive DVD collection. His siblings, stuck with their tiny rooms, ceased to laugh at Josh after he explained the perks of the basement. Now they're just jealous.

Josh shuts the basement door behind Tyler, then dives at his bed head-first, burying his face in his pillow. He groans. “This bed is so comfortable. I never want to leave it.”

“Move over.” Tyler drops his bag on the floor and gives Josh a playful push. Josh does so, rolling over onto his back to make room for his friend.

“Okay, we have two options for movies at this particular moment,” Josh says, “ _Saw_ or _Halloween._ Both are cheesy. Both probably appeal to you, horror geek as you are. Pick one.”

“What, nothing else?” Tyler flops onto the bed next to Josh, tucking his legs up to his chest.

“Nothing else, kid.”

“Don't call me ‘kid.’ I'm older than you.”

“Just fucking pick one, man.”

Tyler hesitates. “Uh, _Saw._ ”

“You've seen that movie a hundred times. You're so lame, Joseph.”

“If you continue to be mean to me I'll tell your mom what I found on your computer. She'll lock you up in a church.”

“I'll tell your mom about your weird obsessions. She'll lock _you_ up in a mental hospital.”

Tyler grins fiercely at Josh, exposing slightly crooked, sharp teeth. “No,” he says sweetly, “she's actually helped me on the hunt for Bigfoot, you know.”

Josh blinks. Josh stares. He opens his mouth, then closes it. “Oh.” Then he sees Tyler's expression. He's trying to keep himself from laughing. He's obviously kidding. Josh punches him in the arm. “Fuck you! Don't mess with me!”

Tyler gives up and lets out a high giggle. “Man, you actually believed me. Bigfoot's not fucking real.”

“You think everything is real. Don't blame me!”

“Until I see proof that vampires aren't real-”

“Gimme proof that they are real!”

The basement door opens, ending the heated debate. Josh's mother makes an appearance. “Hello, Tyler,” she says, smiling at him. Then she turns to Josh. “Is he staying the night?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I'll order pizza for you guys. Not too late, it's a school night.”

Josh waves his hand at his mom in a clear _go away_ gesture. She looks pointedly at him. “None of that, Joshua William.”

“Sorry, mom.”

Josh's mom moves to close the door. “Take a shower, I can smell you from the kitchen. And try not to bother your siblings with your vampire discussions.”

Tyler turns slightly pink at that. Josh groans. “Mom, get out!”

They hear her chuckling all the way up the basement stairs.

Tyler lies down on one of Josh's pillows, staring up at the ceiling. “Honestly, your mom is so cool.”

“Most of the time,” Josh agrees. Then he changes the subject. “Let's play the movie.”

“You put it in.”

“Fine.” Josh gets up reluctantly, grabs _Saw_ off the ground- it's still there from the last time Tyler was over, he really needs to clean his damn room- and sticks it in the DVD player. He switches on the TV. When he turns around, Tyler has taken up the entire bed. “Nuh uh,” Josh says, “my bed, my rules. Stay on your side.” Tyler moves back grudgingly.

Yeah, they share a bed when Tyler comes over. No, Josh's mom doesn't mind. They're friends, they'll only be friends, there's nothing wrong with two bros chilling together, watching a movie. Sleeping. Right?

The movie starts. Tyler leans down to dig a notebook out of his bag suddenly.

“What are you doing?” Josh asks.

“Forgot about my English homework,” Tyler grumbles.

Josh, who did his essay during study hall instead of researching how to summon demons, smirks at his best friend and moves his hand to flip off the light switch.

*

All movie'd out and ready to actually get some sleep (because there is school tomorrow, and Josh is a person who practically runs on sleep and coffee), Josh quickly showers like his mother instructed him to, changes into a fresh pair of shorts and a blink-182 t-shirt (because he doesn't sleep fucking naked when Tyler is over), and heads back into the basement where Tyler is curled up on top of the bedspread, notebook still in his hands. The back of a pen is in his mouth. He steadily chews it as he reads whatever he's written for English.

“Are you going to take a shower?” Josh asks him, hoping the answer is yes. Sometimes when Tyler stays over, he showers. And while Josh is all for letting Tyler sleep in his bed, Tyler had PE today, and sorry, he kind of smells a little bit.

Thankfully, Tyler nods. “Brought a spare pair of clothes just for that,” he says, slipping past Josh to head over to the bathroom. Luckily for Josh, he gets a whole bathroom to himself down there. Guess the architects of this house really anticipated someone living in the basement like he's doing.

“Shower's all yours.” Josh jumps back in bed, stares at the clock on his dresser. It's almost nine-thirty. Perfect time to sleep. Even though it's October, it still feels like fucking summer, and sorry, his brain can't over the fact that he can no longer stay up past one and sleep until noon. Another reason to hate school. He can't stay up anymore.

Josh hears the shower turn on and reclines back in bed, pillow propped up against the headboard, arms tucked comfortably behind his head. He listens to the sound of the water hit the floor, eyes slipping shut. He's really psyching himself up for sleeping.

After five minutes, the shower turns off. Josh opens his eyes. No _way_ did Tyler just take a five minute shower and expect to be clean. Holy shit, Josh thought _his_ personal hygiene was bad. Tyler's is, is fucking disgusting.

He stands, about to go and berate Tyler for being _fucking disgusting_ when he hears a squeaking noise, and he just gets confused. What the hell is Tyler using to jack off in there, the fucking shower head? An unwanted image invades Josh's mind and he physically slaps himself to dispel it, because that's a nasty thought. He scolds himself for thinking of Tyler in that way.

The squeaking noise stops. Josh pauses, frowning. Then it starts up again.

There's a little creeping suspicion playing at the back of Josh's mind. He freezes. Oh, shit.

He practically runs to the bathroom, stopping in front of the door and jiggling the lock, never mind if Tyler is actually trying to just dry his hair or whatever. “Tyler,” he says. “What are you doing in there?”

Tyler's voice, slightly echoey from the cavernous bathroom, replies “Summoning a demon” so matter-of-factly that Josh finds it infuriating. Is he actually serious right now?

“Are you kidding me?” Josh all but shouts. “Get the fuck out of my bathroom, dude. We talked about this.”

“Yeah, and I disregarded everything you said to me. You might as well have been talking to a brick wall.” Tyler giggles, all hysterical, and Josh smells smoke and...apples?

“What the- Tyler, are you burning candles in there?!”

That's a fucking fire hazard!

Josh pounds the door. “This is _my_ bathroom, Tyler. Open it up right now, or I swear-”

“Shut up, Josh. I need to focus. The page says if I mess up one word the summoning will be absolutely fucked. You don't want to die, do you?” Tyler asks, with a patient tone one would use when explaining to a particularly stupid child that one plus one is two.

Then, the chanting begins.

It gives Josh chills. His hand goes limp on the doorknob as he presses his ear to the door, listening tensely. Whatever Tyler is saying, it's certainly not English. It's some creepy, demonic language, and it's freaking the shit out of Josh. The temperature in the basement seems to drop by a thousand degrees. He shivers uncontrollably.

Tyler stops chanting. Josh can hear him breathing. Josh holds his own breath. Did it work? Then he mentally slaps himself. No, of course it didn't fucking work! Tyler is _insane._

Then Tyler says, “Oh, my God. Holy _shit._ ” The doorknob twists from the other side, unlocking the door. “Josh, get in here _right now._ ”


	2. Why Josh Is Never Inviting Tyler Over Again

Josh bursts into the bathroom, face flushed. His heart is pounding. The first thing that his eyes register are the candles, twisting and bright against the darkness of the bathroom. One hand on the doorknob still, he frantically scans his surroundings. Where's Tyler? Is there actually a fucking demon? What the fuck?!

There's a piercing scream, and then a pair of hands slap down on his shoulders. “Ahh!”

Josh screams, too. He staggers back out of the bathroom, ready to run for his damn life. Then he pauses as the figure starts laughing. “Tyler, what the hell?” he shouts, as he makes out the figure of his soon-to-be ex-friend.

Tyler doubles over, one hand on his knee, as peels of laughter rack his body. “You- you- oh, my God, you totally fell for it!” 

Josh is shaking, partly from adrenaline, partly from anger. Mostly he feels peevish about being tricked, about believing there actually was something going on.

Tyler is wiping his eyes. He's almost crying from laughter. He gasps as he tries to reclaim his breath. “Holy fuck, Josh. Your face was priceless.” He cackles as Josh glares at him. 

“You're a little shit, Tyler,” Josh snaps. 

Tyler stops laughing. He adopts a suitably apologetic look. “Josh, I'm sorry,” he whines.

Josh is ready to forgive him. Honestly, he's a pushover when it comes to two things: forgiving people and Tyler. He thinks he's ready to forgive Tyler.

Then Tyler somewhat ruins the apology by adding, “But it  _ was _ really funny.”

Josh is so close to shouting again. Instead, he just says, “Clean up the fucking mess you made in there and let's go to bed already.”

Tyler does look suitably abashed, but Josh isn't interested. Heart still mildly pounding, he feels a headache begin to form as he stomps back to bed, wrapping the covers over his head and rolling over onto his side. If Josh were meaner he would make Tyler sleep on the floor. If Mark was here, he would totally make Tyler sleep on the fucking floor. Goddamnit, why is Josh so nice? At least nobody else in the house heard the noises coming from the basement, or Tyler would be so screwed. 

Tyler comes to bed later, after he's actually showered, cleaned up the candles, and wiped off the mirror. He hesitantly clambers into the bed, staying so far away from the still-pissed Josh that he's hanging off the edge, but he doesn't mind. In fact, he has to bite his lip every time he imagines the shocked expression on Josh's face to prevent himself from laughing again. 

They settle into an uneasy sleep.

*

Josh is in the bathroom. He leans towards the mirror. His breath is heavy as he reaches out a finger, scraping a single word into the condensation: ABADDON.

He watches with a mixture of horror and fascination as the foggy mirror begins to swirl, faster and faster. There's a high-pitch scream, a flash of red light, then-

A loud crash wakes him from his Tyler-induced dream. His eyes fly open. He stares at the ceiling, then closes his eyes briefly. Just a dream. A stupid fucking dream. 

He rolls over onto his side. Tyler is gone.

Oh, come the fuck on. Well, if Tyler wants round two, he'll get it.

“Tyler,” he calls down the hallway as he makes his way to the bathroom. Sure enough, a light is on. Maybe Tyler just had to take a piss and fell, or dropped something. If he's pranking Josh again, Josh is going to kill him. He swears it. “Tyler, you okay?” he asks.

“Fine,” Tyler says. “I'm just...using the bathroom, man.” Okay, so he really is using the bathroom. Josh rolls his eyes. Add this to a new list of reasons why he's never inviting Tyler Joseph over to his house again. Waking him up at screw you o'clock in the morning. 

“Whatever.” Josh turns around to go back to bed. Stupid Tyler Joseph.

At that moment, Tyler screams. “Holy shit-”

The door is shoved open so hard that it whacks Josh in the shoulder, sending him staggering. Tyler flies out of the room and collides with Josh, sending them both crashing to the floor. 

“Tyler, what the absolute-”

But Tyler is shaking, holding onto Josh so hard that Josh is sure he's going to bruise. He has his nose buried in between Josh's shoulder blades. 

When Josh turns over, the first thing he sees is a burst of red light. He grows cold. His face pales. “No way,” he whispers. “No fucking way.”

A tiny swirl of red energy appears, spiraling from the mirror, growing bigger and bigger until a dark shape appears. First an arm, then a leg, then a whole dark, twisted being is being expelled from the mirror, which promptly bursts into a thousand shards. Josh throws his hands over his ears. The sound is  _ loud. _

Tyler whimpers. “I was just using the bathroom, I swear, I-”

“Tyler, shut up.  _ Run!” _ Josh grabs Tyler's hand, pulling him up and propelling him towards the basement stairs. “Fucking run! Get out of here!”

He's already on his feet when a voice says, “Where are you going?” and that's not the voice of Tyler Joseph. It's something else entirely. Slightly high, slightly feminine, more than a little amused. It makes Josh's confused brain halt while he squints to make out the...the  _ thing  _ in the bathroom. 

“No fucking way,” Josh says again, like it's the only phrase in his vocabulary. Tyler pauses on the steps, concern etched on his nervous face. 

“Josh, come on, we have to get out of here. Call 911.”

“Wait, Tyler. I just want to see…” 

Josh knows he shouldn't hang around. He should scream, alert the rest of his household that there's a fucking something come down from Heaven or up from Hell (or maybe it was just living in his mirror) in his bathroom. He doesn't move from where he's standing, though. He has to admit, he's curious. 

Tyler comes down from the stairs and joins him, where he just gapes at the figure. 

“This is what you wanted, isn't it, Tyler Joseph?” the figure asks, sarcasm lacing its tones. “Well, congratulations!”

“Wow. No way,” Tyler says as well. In the heat of the moment, both Tyler and Josh are definitely bereft of words.

“It's Gerard, actually.”

“What?” Josh says.

“My name. It's Gerard,” Gerard says, like it's the most obvious fucking thing in the world. “You said  _ Way.  _ That's my last name. Or do you people go by last names here?” He cocks his head to the side. “I guess you can call me ‘Way’, then.”

That just confuses the shit out of poor Tyler, who latches onto Josh's arm with a death grip. 

“Um,” Josh says. He swallows. Start with the easy questions. “What are you?”

There's a demon in his bathroom named Gerard. This has to be a dream. Josh pinches his arm. Nope. Not a dream. 

Gerard presses a hand to his chest. “Me? I'm a vampire,” he says casually.

“Um,” Josh says. His pulse quickens. “So, are you going to, like, kill us or something?”

“Nope.” Come again?

“So...you're not going to suck our blood or anything? Drag us down to Hell? Transform us into vampires, too?”

“That's a stupid thing to say, Joshua Dun. I don't bite.” Gerard steps into the light, then smiles, exposing rows of sharp teeth. Two fangs curl at the top of his mouth. Like hell he doesn't bite. 

“Wow,” Tyler sounds again, sounding a bit strangled. Then he turns to Josh, letting go of his arm. “We've got to make friends with him.”

“ _ What? _ Are you insane? We're going straight to the cops.”

“If you try and turn me in or make me go outside, I'll kill you.” Gerard says this in the way Josh might say hello. Completely friendly. 

“Yeah,” Tyler says, “don't make him go outside. The sun plus vampires is a bad combo.”

“I like you,” Gerard says to Tyler. They share a grin. On Gerard's blood-covered face, it looks menacing. In fact, there isn't an inch of him that isn't covered in blood or the inky, tangible darkness. Josh really hopes Gerard is wearing clothes. 

He drags a hand down his face. It's late at night, everyone's asleep, he's not thinking rationally. He is so going to regret this. 

“Fine,” he says bitingly. “You can stay in my basement until we...figure this-” he gestures around the room pointlessly, helplessly- “all out. Okay...Gerard?”

Josh can't believe this is happening. Why him?

Gerard nods. “Okay,” he says. “Can I, uh, clean myself off?”

So the monster has good hygiene. That's the only plus of the night so far.

“Shower's all yours. You, come with me.” Josh yanks Tyler by the arm away from Gerard and back into his bedroom, already planning a huge lecture. One thing's for certain, Tyler is never staying over at Josh's house again.

Maybe he'll wake and this will all be a bad dream.

*

Josh doesn't sleep. Maybe it's because there's a vampire (albeit a clean one now dressed in a pair of Josh's black skinny jeans and a clean t-shirt) in his closet. The clothes are a bit small on Gerard because he's got a few inches on Josh, but that's fine, he assures the two boys. He doesn't care. 

The shirt is one of Josh's favorites. He'd dug it out of his dresser without thinking, and handed it to Gerard, and Gerard is wearing it, and now Josh won't be able to touch it ever again, because  _ Gerard _ touched it and he doesn't want to touch  _ anything  _ Gerard touched. 

The vampire apparently likes small spaces, because he had immediately zeroed in on Josh's closet. He looked at Josh. “Can I…?”

“Yeah. Yeah, man. Sure.” Josh is understandably nervous about housing a vampire, but at least Gerard will be  _ in the closet. _ Not out in the open where Josh has to look at his creepy face. Or have his creepy face looking at him.

So now Josh has a closeted vampire in his basement. A laugh bubbles in his throat at the absurd thought of Gerard curling up in there next to his piles of dirty laundry. 

Tyler appears next to Josh once Gerard is in the closet. He has bags under his eyes but an excited look on his face. “This is the coolest thing that's ever happened to me,” he says.

Josh is too upset to disagree. 

“I mean, I knew vampires were real and shit, but to actually summon one? I've got to ask him about life as a vampire, write everything down, and turn it into a song or something.” Tyler looks so satisfied with himself that Josh can't even argue with him anymore.

“Tyler,” he says, switching topics. He lowers his voice so Gerard can't hear. “We have a vampire in my closet named Gerard Way.”

The words feel weird leaving Josh's mouth. Does Tyler even realize how weird this is?

“Ye-ah,” Tyler says slowly.

Apparently not.

Josh assumed an exasperated look. “We can't keep him in there forever! My parents come down here all the time, dude! Not to mention he's literally a bloodsucking monster. How are we supposed to feed him?”

“Oh.” Now Tyler looks a little troubled. He bites his tongue, thinking hard. “Yeah, I don't know. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“Tyler,” Josh says quietly. He draws Tyler to the opposite side of the bedroom. “We are not keeping a vampire in my closet. I don't want him there. He seems to like you, but I don't think he likes me. I could be killed.”

“Stop overreacting, Josh.”

“I'm not overreacting! I'm scared. I'm going to have to explain to my parents how we busted the bathroom mirror. But explaining to my mother why I'm keeping a creepy emo dude in my closet? That's a new playing field. 

“Look,” Josh continues rationally, “Gerard freaks me out. Okay? And I have a solution. We'll ask him how he gets back home, wherever that is, then help him get back there. And we're  _ never _ doing this again afterwards, do you understand me, Tyler Joseph?”

Tyler furrows his eyebrows. “Can I at least ask him about-”

“Yes,” Josh says, quickly cutting Tyler off. “You can ask him whatever. But tomorrow after school, we deal with this shit. Send him home. Is that fair?”

If Tyler is disappointed, he doesn't show it. Josh feels a spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, he's starting to realize how crazy this situation is. “Okay,” he agrees, albeit a little reluctantly. “But, Josh. What if we can't send him back home?”

The basement suddenly seems colder. Josh shivers a little bit. He manages to look Tyler dead in the eye. “Then,” Josh says, “we kill him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments! they make my day <3


	3. Closeted Vampire ft. Reiteration x100

Josh must have finally fallen asleep, because when he wakes Tyler is clinging to him and both of them are on the floor. No wonder it's freezing. With a groan, he manages to extricate himself from Tyler's arms, glancing at the alarm clock on his nightstand. It's seven in the morning. Fuck, they overslept.

He feels like utter shit. No surprise, considering the amount of sleep he got and the stress of wondering whether or not Gerard would kill them at night or escape or something. Apparently Josh's concerns were unfounded, because when he quietly goes over to his closet and opens it just a little bit to check on their resident monster, he's still sleeping peacefully on the ground, curled up against the wall. It doesn't look comfortable at all. 

Josh consoles himself with the fact that Gerard will soon be out of their hair, and goes over to prod Tyler awake with his bare foot. 

Tyler jerks awake. “I'm up!” he yells. 

Oh. That's right. Tyler isn't a morning person. “Shit, Josh. I had the weirdest fucking dream last night,” he continues when he sees Josh standing over him. “Um, why are we on the floor?”

“If you're talking about...the vampire...it wasn't a dream.”

“Yes!” Tyler exclaims. “Good. I've always wanted one of my summonings to work.”

The headache from last night returns in full splendor. Josh groans. “We will deal with it tonight. I'm going to get coffee.” He moves to grab a shirt from his dresser, then realizes his pants are in the closet. Fuck, he's going to have to wake the beast, literally. 

Josh is no coward. He's braved the woods at night, held spiders, and even ventured into that “haunted bathroom” at their school to retrieve Tyler's stuff when a couple of stupid mean kids left it in there. Yeah, he's a brave dude. 

Waking Gerard makes turn into a class A coward, though. He doesn't want to.

“Tyler?”

“Yeah?”

“My clothes are in that closet. Would you please wake  _ your _ vampire?” Josh asks pointedly, stressing the  _ your  _ a little too much. He feels kind of bad, because at this point Gerard is  _ their  _ vampire, but he really just wants his pants. 

Tyler brightens. “Sure,” he says. He crosses over to the closet and throws the doors wide open. “Wake up!” he says loudly, startling Josh. 

Gerard does. Josh can't help relate the movements to those of a snake's. One about to uncurl and lunge at its unsuspecting victim to squeeze it to death. 

He tells himself he's overreacting, just like Tyler told him he was last night.

Gerard opens one eye. It's almost creepy how quickly he does it. The other eye opens. He brushes lanky black hair off of his forehead. 

“I need my clothes,” Josh mutters.

Gerard nods and springs to his feet, gliding past Tyler and moving to stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. Josh changes his clothes in the closet with the door closed. Honestly, he doesn't usually give a shit about changing in front of Tyler, but changing in front of Gerard? Hell no. He has standards. 

“Coffee,” Josh says when he emerges.

Tyler growls. “That shit's disgusting.” 

“You can have coffee or water.”

“I'll take water. It's better than...dirt water. Which is basically what coffee is.”

“Suit yourself,” says Josh, and starts heading to the stairs. Then he stops. “And you,” Josh says, pointing at Gerard, “get back in my closet and don't go anywhere. I promise we'll help you, but if my parents find you we're all dead. So please, stay put.”

Gerard shrugs, not even slightly bothered about being ordered around by Josh. He seems happy to get back into the dark.

*

Josh hums “Burn It Down” by AWOLNATION as he makes coffee, Tyler hanging around at his side. Though it’s not his favorite band, he’s particularly partial to that song. The breakfast table isn’t big enough to contain everyone, but Jordan, Abby, and Ashley have already finished their food since they are getting a ride from Josh’s mom to their elementary school, and Josh’s dad is already headed out to work, so the table soon clears up. Tyler sits down a little unsteadily. 

Josh’s mom smiles at the two boys. “You two sleep well?”

“Yeah.”  _ As well as they could, at any rate.  _

“Okay. Well, finish your coffee and have some eggs.” Sure enough, Josh’s mom is making eggs. Tyler’s stomach gives an audible rumble. “At least someone will appreciate my cooking.”

It’s an old jibe, and a running joke in the Dun household. Ever since Josh’s mom gave the family food poisoning during a barbeque, no one has trusted her enough to cook. Of course, she’s actually an excellent cook- it was just a bad cut of meat- but it’s still a hilarious joke, and she takes it in good humor. Tyler, who’s heard the joke many times and is familiar with it, chuckles.

It’s only when his mother has gone upstairs to check on his siblings and Tyler has all but wolfed down his food that Josh remembers the mirror. 

“Tyler,” he says, “we’ve gotta tell my mom about the mirror. But what do we say?”

Tyler squares his shoulders, then relaxes. He smiles. “It’s no biggie,” he says easily, “I’ll just tell your mom I did it. It’s not technically lying.”

“But-”

“Come on, Josh, you know she can’t get mad at me. She loves me. Besides, didn’t she say she hated that mirror anyways?” Tyler adopts a voice that sounds scarily like Josh’s mother. “‘Oh, that stupid brass mirror, it’s got to go one of these days. Honestly, if someone broke it I wouldn’t mind.’ Well, I broke it. So she won’t mind, right?”   
  
“And how did you break this mirror in your alibi?” Josh asks icily, sipping his coffee.

Tyler leans back in his chair. “I’ll, uh, think of something.”

“Think of what?” Josh’s mom makes a reappearance. She eyes Tyler’s plate. “Good God! You finished that quickly. Want seconds?”   
  
“Yes, please,” Tyler says quickly, then stands and hangs his head. Ooh, he’s acting now. He allows a blush to spread across his nose. “Mrs. Dun, yesterday I kind of, er...slipped. I broke the mirror. I didn’t tell anyone, not even Josh, till now, because it was late and I didn’t want to bother anyone. I’m  _ really  _ sorry.”

Maybe Tyler really does have a way with Josh’s mom. She goes off at him, but not in a mean way, insisting on checking him for injuries and reassuring him that it’s no problem at all, please be careful next time, and did you cut yourself on any glass? Tyler says no, he didn’t, and he’s  _ really, really  _ sorry. Josh snorts into his nearly empty cup.

“Well, I’d better go clean the glass, then,” Mrs. Dun says. “Josh, there’s a broom in your closet, right?”

And Josh chokes on a big mouthful of coffee, nearly spitting it back into the cup. He pushes out of his chair, coughing, nearly choking. “No!” he says, eyes wide, “it’s fine. I’ll clean. You have to drive Abby and Ashley and Jordan. Tyler and I will take care of it before we leave.”

Mrs. Dun smiles. “It’s fine, Josh. Besides, you two should get walking anyways. She gives a meaningful glance at the kitchen clock. The face reads seven-thirty.

Shit.

Tyler is silent, face deathly pale, mouth opening and closing noiselessly.

Josh only has one hope. He takes a deep breath. “Look, there’s something in the bathroom I need first,” he tries, “and if you’re cleaning, I won’t be able to get it. It’s my notebook, I need it for English. I’m gonna grab it first.”

Mrs. Dun is a smart woman, and that’s the most feeble excuse ever. He sounds shifty when he says it, and everyone knows it. 

However, she lets it slide. “Quickly,” she says, probably because Tyler’s here and now’s not the time to start an argument with her son. After all, it’s not like Mrs. Dun suspects it’s anything bad. Maybe a porn magazine at the absolute worst. Definitely no vampires down there. Nope. “And be careful. If you cut yourself on the glass, I’ll be very upset.”

“So will I,” Josh jokes, but inside he’s heaving a great big sigh of relief. Taking the stairs down two at a time, he runs over to his closet, wrenching it open. “Gerard,” he whisper-shouts, “you gotta move. My mom’s coming down here.”

The resident vampire gives a start, then shoots out of the closet. “Where do I hide?”

Josh’s mom is coming downstairs, followed by Tyler. Oh  _ shit. _

“Under my bed,” Josh hisses, and forgetting his rule to not touch Gerard or anything Gerard has touched, Josh forcefully grabs his arm, all but throwing him under the bed. Gerard stumbles, catches himself at the last second, then rolls underneath Josh’s bed.

“Did you find your notebook, Josh?” she asks him, injecting skepticism into her tone to make it clear to her son that she isn’t falling for his bullshit.

He plays along. “Yep. Have fun cleaning.”

She sighs as she rummages through his closet, taking out the broom that has a permanent residence in there, since he’s the messiest of all the Dun children.

When she enters the bathroom, she shrieks. “Joshua William Dun,” she says, “did Dorothy and her tornado enter this bathroom?”

It's way worse in daytime. There’s glass everywhere, half-extinguished candles on the ground, shampoo bottles spilled open. Yeah, the bathroom’s a fucking mess.

Tyler is  _ so _ dead.

“Um,” Josh says helpfully. He doesn’t really want to face his mother’s wrath, but he kind of has to stand there to make sure she doesn’t find Gerard.

She sniffs. “Is that blood I smell? What  _ happened _ in here? What are these things all over the floor? Josh, what happened?” she demands.

“Ask Tyler.”

She shakes her head, bending down to pick up a shampoo bottle, shutting the cap tightly. “He’s not sleeping over again,” she says, lips white with anger. That Josh can understand. He’s not so sure he wants Tyler over again, either.

She throws her hands up. “Boys,” she mutters. As she finishes cleaning the glass, Josh moves to help her clean up the rest of the mess. Together they work as a team until the bathroom is relatively normal again. 

She straightens up. “Alright, go upstairs and wait for me while I put this away.”

Josh grabs Tyler, drags him upstairs. “Fuck you,” he hisses between his teeth.

Tyler at least has the grace to look a little ashamed of himself.

“Joshua? Why is your closet such a mess?”

Josh slaps Tyler in the arm. “This is your fault!” To his mom, he calls down, “Uh...I’ll fix it when I get home. We’re headed out now.” They move so quickly that Tyler barely has time to tie his shoes before Josh is propelling him out the door, slamming it behind him. Taking a deep breath, he says, “I just want to have a normal day and pretend neither you nor Gerard exists.”

Tyler has the good sense to keep quiet, lest he waken the beast inside his best friend.

*

Turns out Josh will not get his wish, however. As they enter the school building they’re immediately accosted by Mark, who pulls them aside with a grin as wide as the fucking Grand Canyon. 

Mark Eshleman is a strange kid. Josh met him in his Animation 200 class and the kid was an absolute prodigy. A’s in that class all year. Josh, however, who lacked the creative drive, mainly bullshitted his way through the class until Mark took pity on him and decided to help him. He passed the final with a 96 only because of outside help. They’d become fast friends after that.

Mark likes cameras, and Mark likes romantic comedies. He doesn’t like coffee, and he’s always hopped up on sugar from something or other. This morning it’s lemon-flavored sugar wafers.

“Dude, is it true you have a vampire at your house, or was Tyler fucking with me?” he asks seriously as he shoves one of the aforementioned lemon-flavored sugar wafers in his mouth. Crumbs already coat his hoodie. His eyes are wide, excited.

“Tyler,” Josh growls, “who else did you tell?”

“Just Mark, I swear…! Actually, no, I mentioned a bit of it to Jenna. But only the broken mirror bit.”

“Tyler! If this gets out, my social reputation is screwed.”   
“What about  _ my _ social reputation?”   


“That went out the window a long time ago.”

“Shut  _ up _ and give it to me straight. Is it true or not?”

Mark is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking like a kid after Christmas. Poor guy, he’s almost exploding from tension. Josh takes pity and breaks his “no vampire talk at school” rule.

He’s never been great at following the rules. Damn it.

He lowers his voice. “It’s true,” he says lowly. “His name is Gerard, he looks a bit like an emo, and he’s fucking creepy. He’s living in my closet until we get home.”

“Wow,” Mark says.

“That’s all you have to say about that?”

Mark nods wisely. “I always knew Tyler was a bit of a nut, but yeah, I believe you,” he says with a whistle through his teeth.

The bell rings signaling the beginning of first period. Josh hitches his backpack higher onto his shoulder. “Look, don’t talk about it now, but if you come home with me you can meet him,” he promises, even though he feels a nagging sensation at the back of his mind telling him that’s definitely not a good idea.

Mark’s eyes sparkle. “Can hardly wait. At least now I have something to look forward to.”

Tyler punches Mark in the arm. “Josh is just being a dick. Gerard is cool.”

“Gerard the Vampire. Hot damn, dudes.”

“Never say that again,” Josh says as they split ways. Josh has math first. That’s all his life is now: a big fucking math problem, with more emphasis on the problem then the solution.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm particularly proud of that last line, about the math.
> 
> Join me in the No Proofreading Club! We have cookies.
> 
> As always, comments are more appreciated than anything. I want to know what you're all thinking. :)


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